HOW INFIDELITY IS TAKING OVER RELATIONHSIPS/MARRIAGES TODAY.
13:55
So, I am going to say this as simple
as possible; in a way, we are the cause of our problems. Most often, we go
after certain persons knowing fully well that they are not capable of offering
a relationship built on sincerity and faithfulness.
We start something with
them with the mindset that we can change them. Months pass by, possibly years,
still no change. By then you are disappointed and heart broken, you finally
realise that no matter what you do, he/she would never change. Then you go
about posting on every social media that “girls are worthless bitches” or “calling
men arrogant bastards.”
What exactly is the essence of cheating on your partner?
I
took out time to seek the opinion of others on this, and the responses I got were
shocking and impressive at the same time. Here
are a few;
v
Cheating is natural. Everybody cheats and for no
reason. It is called “FUN”.
v
Infidelity occurs as a result of distrust and
discontentment.
v
Big asses can lead to infidelity.
v
Infidelity results when a man refuses to perform
his duties such as; no longer good in bed, doesn’t cater for his family, when
he no longer loves you as he used to, when he cheats, and when he keeps late
nights.
v
I see no reason for infidelity. If distance is a
barrier, breakup. If there is an issue, resolve it. If you can’t withstand it,
then don’t bother standing with it.
v
The character of a partner will determine if to
cheat on him/her.
v
Cheating is not a mistake, but by choice.
v
People cheat for material things.
v
I have never been in a relationship because I wasn’t
ready for commitment, but I did have flings. But when I decide to make a girl
mine, I would never cheat on her because I would be losing the trust she has
for me. Cheating is like; you finally get a diamond you so desire and value,
and after a while, you choose a mere gold over it. (even I was moved by this
illustration).
v
Infidelity results when a partner does not fully
accept the other as they are. Hence, he/she goes out in search of more and gets
easily moved by flashy things, “It is wrong for a door to accept every key”.
v
In relationships, contentment is key. You don’t need
to be always distracted or carried away by material things.
v
Infidelity mostly results from dissatisfaction. It
can severely strain a relationship. It leaves the other person devastated,
betrayed, aggrieved, and confused.
v
Infidelity is a crime, irrespective of the
intent and motive behind it.
v
Immaturity and greediness is the reason behind
infidelity.
v
Many things lead to infidelity, such as: boring
sex with your partner, peer pressure, distance, immaturity, partner always being
around can lead to boredom, etc.
v
Infidelity is as a result of immaturity, (emotional,
psychological, spiritual). When the purpose of a relationship is unknown, ABUSE
is inevitable. INFIDELITY in relationships is an ABUSE. To truly LOVE a person
is a DECISION, not a FEELING.
I LOVE Y’ALL! Awesome
friends I’ve got myself.
I
would tell you something about these persons who gave every response you see
above. Judging from their responses, you would wonder if they really are
faithful and have never been carried away or tempted to cheat on their
partners. You would wonder, if people could give such responses, who then are
the unfaithful lots? But I would tell you this, the first step to change is
accepting that there is a problem. And there is a bigger problem when you
refuse to realize that there is a problem. They may have made a mistake at a
point, but what really matters is the fact that they believe in the possibility
of having a relationship sorely built on trust and faithfulness. Unlike those
who think it is a norm. We should never intentionally hurt a heart that chose
to make us a reason to beat. Nobody deserves that. It is really unfortunate the
direction at which the world is heading. It is best we erase certain believes from
our minds. As both the male and female folks no longer care about certain
things. It is no longer a man’s thing.
I am not here to judge you and how
you’ve chosen to live your life, neither am I here to teach you how to live
your life. We all have our rights to live however we want, to adopt believes/norms/values
we find appropriate. Also, do you have the right to settle for whatever you are
comfortable with. You owe nobody nothing, if you think you cannot live with
infidelity, please never settle for such a relationship.
Do faithful men/women still exist?
A friend once said “I cannot cheat on bae. I could lay on same
bed with another girl, the highest we could go is smooching, but sex is for bae
alone.” I find that funny though! Is that being faithful? Does that even count
for anything?
Faithful
men/women still do exist, but we don’t observe them. We are busy going after
the beautiful girls, the handsome men, the guitarist, the musician, the model,
the swaggalicious dude next door, the yahoo boys, the filmmaker, the actors and
actresses, the pastor’s son, the overseer’s daughter. Funny enough, even if he
is a pastor, or a very churchy person, it is no guarantee that he wouldn’t cheat.
We really do need God in everything!
But
just in case it is hard to find a faithful man/woman, make sure to find someone
who loves you sincerely. A love that would stand the test of time and distance,
and would never find you boring. One who would see in you something more than a
pleasure to their flesh, but a pleasure to their heart. Whenever you do find
such a person, turn away from every distraction and guide your
relationship/marriage with all thy heart.
What
would it profit you to live in wealth when your heart is not at ease? How do
you live knowing that you share the one your heart beats for with another? It is
totally okay if you decide not to settle for such. If God, your creator is a
jealous God, who then are you not to be a jealous lover? And for those men who
think it’s normal for guy to cheat and a woman not to. You better wake up to
reality. Change should begin from you. You are the head after all! But never
judge a girl, when you know you are guilty as well.
Based
on my little knowledge about life, I will say it is best we create our own
personal believes about life, and stick to them. Adopting an irresponsible way
of life in the name of “the world says” is actually not healthy. The first step
to being unique is having a believe different from that of the world. If
friends fail you, trust me, it’s a part of the process, get another! If your
believes are not profiting, it is a sign to get another believe. If love fails
you, that is no reason to join the world, change your choices.
Humility is not a sign of weakness,
Love is not a sign of Foolishness, being strict is not a sign of wickedness.
Your ability to possess all 3 qualities makes you strong and unique.
Do give Love another chance! Try fidelity!
A 30minutes pleasure isn’t worth
hurting a heart that truly cares!
Not all that glitters is Gold!
Whether you have loved and won or
you have loved and lost, the feeling was totally worth it!
Iam_peaceaghedo………………………………………………writing is my passion!
2 comments
nice piece....you just said it all. i like
ReplyDeleteThank You
Delete@THANKGOD CHINEDU